SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: No-Self Esteem (1of2)

NOTE: OUR WEEKLY 'LIVE' ZAZENKAI WILL BE TOMORROW (SUNDAY) THIS WEEK

Someone wrote to ask about "low self-esteem".

I'm curious about people's views on self-esteem. On one hand, having good self-esteem leads to a positive and happy life. People with high self-esteem are confident, friendly, out-going and not afraid of taking risks. On the other end of the scale you have people with very low self-esteem and I think this is a key issue for many people with a history of depression ...How do you go about increasing your self esteem? Are there are specific [Buddhist] practices/exercises ... which could help?

My teacher, Nishijima Roshi, describes Buddhism as a philosophy of "optimism". When I first heard that, it struck me as strange, because I had thought our way was to drop all "likes" and "dislikes" about life, which I thought meant that we must be "neutral" and rather ambivalent to everything.

But now I see Nishijima Roshi's point, and it applies to the question of 'self-esteem' too.

You see, in our Zen Practice we are often doing several seemingly contradictory things all at once, hand-in-hand, without the least conflict or contradiction.

So, on the one hand, it is vital that we learn to fully and completely drop the "self", drop the ego and all our 'self-centered' thoughts and ideas. We fully and completely drop all "likes" and "dislikes", and all other judgments. We accept life "at it is". This is Shikantaza.

But the funny thing that happens when you accept the world as "just what it is", is not numbness or neutrality or cold "whatever" ambivalence ... Instead, it can be more an experience of "going with the flow", harmony with "what is", oneness, allowing and embracing. Life is "just what it is", and that's just fine! YIPPEE!

We even then (and this sounds strange) accept the "self" as "just what it is" too. So, strange as it sounds, by dropping our sense of "self" and "self-centered ideas" and judgments of things, we even drop our self-centered ideas on what is "wrong" with our self ... and we accept our "self" as just what it is too!
[PLEASE READ THE FOREGOING SENTENCE AT LEAST TWICE!]

We realize that our thoughts are, to one degree or another, a fictional story we write for ourselves ... and it is up to us how we write the story. So, if you want to judge negative, neutral or positive ... the universe will let you do that. Up to you.

Thus, one might say that our ENTIRE Zen Buddhist Practice, all of it, is about dealing with the issue of "self-esteem". The most important goalless goal you must attaininglessly attain is to see right through that fictional "boogeyman under the bed" that is your "self" and "self-centered" judgements ...

... about everything, including your self!!

So, drop all thought and judgments in Shikantaza, drop all judgments about everything ... including about what a loser you think you are!

Gassho, Jundo

PS- Another thing about "self-esteem" is, once you have it, you must not become its prisoner, allow it to run to excess. Everything in balance, everything in moderation. But that is only an issue once you get the self-esteem!

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SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: Heart Sutra XXX

Picture of Buddha catching a cigarette break

Far/ be/yond/ all/ de/lu/sion/, Nir/va/na/ is/ al/rea/dy/ here/.

All/ past/, pre/sent/ and/ fu/ture/ Budd/has/

Live/ this/ Praj/na/ Pa/ra/mi/ta/*

And/ re/al/ize/ su/preme/ and/ com/plete/ en/light/en/ment/.

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SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: Under Construction

I sat today next to a noisy, smokey, busy construction site ... but my microphone did not work. (So there is no timing bell today too ... )

Well, I think you get a sense just by looking.

Silence and stillness are not a matter of one's surroundings. That's true building upon a solid foundation.

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SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: Voting Line Zazen

A silent sitting today.

By the way, if you happen to be in the U.S. and voting today ... those long lines are an excellent place for standing Zazen!

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SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: OBAMA '08

After some consideration and hesitancy, I have decided to offer my political endorsement in the U.S. presidential race:

GO BARACK!

(having my endorsement should finally put him over the top!!)

Although our Way transcends all differences and petty politics, and is beyond war and poverty and a lack of health care ... yet it certainly is about those things too!

My Dharma Brother, Brad Warner, recently published an essay which I agree with in part, yet strongly disagree with in part ... He wrote:

Politics take place in the realm of the human mind, where good and evil exist. Politicians are like stage magicians using sleight of hand to draw attention away from reality.

It’s none of my business who you vote for. I’m sure you agree with that. But I’ve been pretty horrified by what I’ve seen from a number of American Buddhist teachers who think it is their business. Way too many Buddhist teachers and Buddhist centers in this country think that Buddhism and liberal politics are one and the same. ...

My own teacher’s teacher, Kodo Sawaki, said, “The right wing is completely wrong. The left wing is also completely wrong.”
...

Listen. Voting is good. So get out there and vote. But watch your level of excitement about the process. Those highs and lows are damaging. For all the feelings of loss, disenfranchisement, and powerlessness the guys who wanted to make that book about Bush’s re-election felt, the world survived his second term more or less in tact. I may be too cynical about the whole thing, but I’ve always loved that joke where an Englishman tries to explain American politics to a fellow Englishman. “On the one hand they have the Republican party which is analogous to our Conservative party,” he says, “and on the other hand they have the Democratic party, which is analogous to our Conservative party.”

Perhaps the very slight differences between one candidate and another have some value. I would never say they didn’t. Just don’t get your panties in a bunch if your guy loses or celebrate the ultimate triumph of good over evil if he wins. I‘m sure all of you politicos reading this will say you already know that. But any scan of the TV when the results are announced will prove otherwise. All that elation and all that hopelessness ripple outward like a wave.

The balance that you retain or lose right now will ultimately have a far greater effect upon the world than who gets elected.

I must disagree with Brad on some of that, for we cannot have our heads in the sand. Yes, we should not cling to one sided opinions. Yes, we should not see the world in "us" versus "them" terms. Yes, the true "revolution" must start within each of us. But the fact of the matter is that, for all its imperfections, politics does make a difference.

Much damage has been done to my country and to the world these past 8 years.

It is not time to look away. It is time to start the healing.

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